Circle of Influence: Upgrade Your Circle of Life
In a previous post, we discussed opening up your circle through the use of FRANKS. Today we’re discussing what to do when we widen that Circle or Sphere of Influence.
How to keep the good times rolling for everyone so that the new people you add to your circle actually want to stay there?
It’s important for your sense of self-care to be good to yourself, first and foremost.
But as you widen your Circle of Influence, it’s important to be good to those folks, too. Working through your FRANKS is important; when you do that, you’re bringing new people into your life and…eventually…weeding out the negative emotional vampires who are nothing but abusive and/or detrimental time-sucks for your day. They don’t want to help themselves and they operate under the modus operandi of “misery loves company.” You need absolutely, positively none of that scene.
Therefore, it’s time to think about pasting in the new and deleting the old when the friendship(s) aren’t positive and healthy. For those that already fit that bill, by all means, leave them in your circle!
Getting folks to join your Circle of Influence as you work your FRANKS shouldn’t be too hard. Throw a party and and invite them over. Offer to meet for coffee. Offer to go for a run or join a new club or organization or volunteer group to meet healthier, happier FRANKS.
These suggestions work even when you’re meeting the FRANKS of your FRANKS, whether you’re trying to add any of them to your Dream Team or not.
But once someone’s in your circle, there are two things to remember, at the very least:
* Keep your promises.
* Be honest and authentic.
In terms of the first piece of advice, never ever fall out of integrity with anyone, including yourself. If you make promises to yourself or other people, it’s important that you honor that promise. No one’s going to want to hang around with the girl who’s always a day late, a dollar short, apologizing for a shortfall and just otherwise not pulling through. No one’s going to stay in your Circle of Influence for long if you behave that way.
In terms of the second piece of advice, always be yourself; be honest; be truthful. Why bother being a fake, even if it’s a well-meaning one so that you can win over someone or even a group of someones? The truth always comes out in the end, right? Plus, you’re not honoring your authentic self, so you’re going to feel like a “sell-out” and, let’s face it, no one wants to stay friends with a fake or a liar, no matter what their rationale behind the fakery or lies are.
So, be certain to go out there and network to improve the quality of your contacts and the quality of your life. Just be sure that you’re giving at least as much as anything you’re getting out of your new group, be reliable and honest and hey…who doesn’t love that girl? Be that girl…and find more girls like you.
You all deserve each other.
To learn how to best increase both the quality and quantity of your circle, read the classic, How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie, available on Amazon.
