“No” is NASTY!
The word no has destroyed more dreams than any other force on the planet. It’s ferocious. It’s actually one of the most dangerous words that exist when it comes to your personal health—mental and/or physical.
In fact, studies prove that seeing the word no or other words that are laden with negative associations causes highly stressed or anxious individuals to feel worse, to the point where they ruminate on them and ultimately damage key structures that regulate memory, feelings and emotions. (See, Some Assessments of the Amygdala Role in Suprahypothalametic Neuroendocrine Regulation: A Minireview, Talorovicova A., Krskova L., Kiss A., Endocr. Regu., 2007 Nov.; 41(4): 155-62.) That’s ferocious.
So when you define your WHY, set S.M.A.A.R.T. goals that force you outside your comfort zone to face possible challenges and issues, you’re on a collision course with the word no. If you’re not careful, you can super-stress yourself out to the point where you make yourself sick. (You may have actually done this in the past).
Sure, you sometimes have to deal with rejection and negativity from the outside world in connection with attempts on your part to achieve your goals. No might be a frequent foe that you need to fend off and yes, it’s nasty when that happens. But typically the person who focuses on the problems, challenges and negativity at hand the most is probably Y-O-U. Why nestle in the nastiness of negativity? Stay out of that trap!
Granted, you must acknowledge challenges and negativity that boil down to a plain old no when it appears with regard to whatever it is you’re trying to achieve. No kidding.
But while you have to be informed in terms of someone’s having said no to you, you don’t have to be inundated. Stop marinating in misery when no arrives on the scene, in whatever form it takes. Instead, encountering that no, flinch from the sting and then simply move on so you can deal with whatever obstruction currently bars your path to success and your overall WHY.
What’s the worst is when you say no to yourself, as whenever you won’t even give yourself a chance to do X because…what if you fail?
Or, perhaps you tell yourself that you would do X, but convince yourself at the outset that someone else won’t allow it.
Before you know it, you’re prejudging everyone else’s thoughts, feelings and actions before they’ve even had a chance to actually have them! Then you drown yourself in an ocean of “What If’s” and paint yourself into corners that you might not actually have been in if you just allowed things to play out in the first place.
Bottom line? A coward dies a thousand deaths; a heroine only once.
Stop telling yourself no all the time. Stop marinating in misery; it doesn’t lead to any tender outcome. It’s bad enough others may want to destroy your dreams; don’t do their dirty work for them!
Want to read about how to LOVE the word no? Read Go for No by Richard Fenton, available on Amazon.
