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Self Romance: Self-Love as the Affair of a Lifetime

 

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self love affair

Self Love is Super–Learn Why

Self love is not selfish love.  Not when it’s done right.

Self-love isn’t narcissism.  Not when you love room in your heart for others’ wants, needs and rights.

Self-love certainly involves you paying attention to your own wants, needs and rights, come to think of it.

What’s important to note is that when you love yourself enough, you’ll respect others’ wants, needs and rights without compromising a single, solitary one of your own.

If you haven’t been feeling like loving yourself as of late, perhaps you need to dive deep to Ground Zero and start all over again.  Have a “do-over” where you spend the time to work on establishing your WHY, set S.M.A.A.R.T. goals so that you can work towards achieving your WHY and carve out time in your life daily to keep those believable goals of yours achievable ones, so you can keep moving forward and even enjoy the process of living.

Once these foundational things are in place, you’ve already begun to prime the pump for increased self-respect and self-esteem.  But how to truly fall in love with yourself, to the point where you believe you’re a precious and worthy human being, as much as any significant other or spouse you may have ever had in your life–if not more so?

Just like when you’re trying to attract and date someone else, when you’re properly going about trying to woo…YOU…you shouldn’t be so desperate to create intimacy that you interfere with the healthy, natural growth and development of that relationship.

More specifically, if you were to try to fall in love with someone else, you should take all the time that’s necessary to get to know them, so that your interest can lead to love between the two of you in an organic fashion.  Similarly, you shouldn’t stress out or try to force your sense of self-love.  Take it easy!  It’s a priority, but it shouldn’t be a chore.

Just be committed to being a happier, more well-adjusted person in general who may just…down the road…attract other happy, well-adjusted folks to have love relationships with, too.   Be just as excited about the prospect of loving yourself as you would be about falling in love with someone else.  You know all of those thoughts, dreams and wishes you have involving Your Beloved (or Intended Beloved)?  Well, is that sort of energy being channeled into your feelings about yourself?  How about creating a self oriented Wish List to whet your appetite, where you enjoy your own company 24/7/365 while chasing your dreams?  Where you have fun and enjoy the process of living your own life?

Rome wasn’t built in a day; similarly, you won’t build your healthy love affair involving your own sweet self in a day, or even a week or a month.  Trust.

You’d think it wouldn’t take so long, being that you’re dealing with, well, YOU and all, but honestly, if you’ve got issues, you have roadblocks and challenges to neutralize before you can reach your goal of a healthy sense of self-love and positive self-esteem.

So don’t rush it or otherwise obsess over how weird it feels to be placing so much emphasis on loving yourself.  You’ll end up feeling overwhelmed and turn yourself off on the concept, and that’s sad, because you’ll lose the true love of your human life—yourself!  (Loving God above yourself is certainly a worthy thing, if you believe in God in the first place, of course).

In conclusion, just like desperation and over-eagerness can be scary to someone else you’re trying to get involved with early on, freaking out about overhauling your sense of self-esteem and throwing yourself into it too hard can lead to a similar sort of burnout or turn-off.  Take it easy with yourself, girlfriend.

You carry yourself around 24/7, so it’s important that you master this relationship with yourself because, well, it’s for life.  It should be a happy, healthy, smart and strong life, not one reeking of desperation and over-eagerness.  Start thinking of yourself as someone who’s worthy of cards, chocolates, flower petals on the bed…whatever.  If no one’s buying you chocolate, do it for yourself!  Spoil yourself!  Dote on yourself for a change!

But no matter what, one step at a time, keep moving forward, be open to the concept that you are worthy of being wooed, and eventually you’ll find that you’ve laid the foundation for a healthy relationship…with both yourself and ultimately others who will sense what an absolutely well-balanced, level-headed, awesome person you are.  Who wouldn’t want to fall in love with that person?  You already have; they will, too!

To know yourself is to love yourself, so try the book, Whatever Arises, Love That:  A Love Revolution That Begins With You, by Matt Kahn, available on Amazon.

Want to be more God-centered and less New-Agey as you get to know yourself and love yourself?  OK!  Try the book, The Purpose-Drive Life:  What On Earth Am I Here For? by Rick Warren, also available on Amazon.

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