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Flirt: How to Enjoy Yourself and Your Life More

 

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Flirt for Self-Esteem

Flirt to Upgrade Your Attitude!

If you’ve ever been in a relationship with someone else, you know that, especially around Valentine’s Day, their birthday, the holidays and such, they LOVE to have you spoil them in every possible way.  And every day of the year they LOVE it if you flirt with them!

If you don’t keep the magic alive, the relationship eventually dies.  If it rests, it rusts.  Evolve or perish.  You’ve heard stuff like this before.  But it’s all true.

In fact, to get someone in a relationship with you in the first place, you likely had to flirt with them to do it, didn’t you?  Sure you did.

Now it’s time to flirt with yourself; after all, you should love your own self a lot in order to have a healthy sense of self-esteem.  So why not kick off this relationship right by flirting?

No–really.

Good things come to those who feel good.  So you should feel good about yourself because, if for no other reason, you’ll be more likely to attract good things to you, including great relationships.

If you’re miserable, of course you’re going to repel folks like crazy.  It’s only common sense.

Researchers tell us that love isn’t really blind.  Everyone (even the nicest people) think, to some degree, What’s in it for me? when they look to fall in love with someone else.  So when you look at others, certainly you should do the same thing.

But you should also do this as you look in the mirror right now, looking at yourself.

What’s in it for you?

The answer: feeling better about yourself instead of crappy. Loving and supporting yourself instead of being your own worst enemy.  You should choose to love yourself enough that you can look in that mirror and smile, even if it’s a wry, shy smile at first, and say, “Hey…how you doin’?”  Flirt with yourself and have fun!  Have a great sense of self-esteem.

Is this good for your soul?  Definitely.

The best way to flirt—whether it’s with yourself or someone else—is to make great eye contact.  No downcast, tortured eyes as you look at yourself in the mirror, now.  Take a look.  Hold your own gaze for a second, then look away.  Then look back and—yup, it’s sappy—wink or raise an eyebrow at yourself.  Do it sparingly and SMILE the entire time.

Criticize this all you like, BUT if you actually go through with it you’ll find that…wait a second…when you’re done giggling…you actually FEEL GOOD.

Try smiling with your eyes and not just your mouth. Oh, just try it!!! You DON’T have to tell anyone you did it! Just try it!

Choose goofy over grumpy any day of the week.

When flirting with yourself, either aloud or silently, allow yourself to have a conversation where you’re introducing yourself TO yourself.

That sounds nuts, but hold on a second! We spend so much time rocketing from one thing to another all day long, we never really have the time to sit and think about even basic things like:

     *   Who am I?

     *   If I had to introduce myself to someone else, what would I say?

     *   What are the five best things about me?

     *   If I can name five things, can I go further and name ten things about me that are great?

With all of the craziness of your life, it’s important to actually ask yourself these things.

Really, who ARE you?  Do you even know?

And IF you know, do you LIKE the answer?

It’s funny how, if we’re interested in someone else, we’ll stand on our heads to become whatever their particular flavor of awesome-sauce is; but become awesome on our own merits?  That has some women stalled.  Ridiculous!

Keep things light when you’re flirting with yourself—just the way you’d keep things light with Mr. or Ms. Right when you first meet them in a bar or club, etc.  Get too seriously too quickly and you’ll scare another person away, nine times out of ten.

Well, you’re just really getting to know yourself, so the best way to flirt is to be fun and light.  LIKE yourself and eventually you’ll LOVE yourself, just like you become friends with someone first BEFORE you fall in love with them (if the relationship is a healthy one).

What does all of this really mean?  Especially if you’ve had problems on this front, don’t put too much pressure on yourself in the beginning to LOVE yourself, perhaps.  Just focus on LIKING yourself and work slowly from there.

You don’t have to dumb yourself down as you think about what you enjoy, what makes you wonderful, what your positive attributes are…just don’t stress about it, either.

Like flirting with another person, as you’re really getting to know yourself on a deep level for the first time, it’s great to set the mood as one that’s open, playful, slightly offbeat or unexpected in a fun and friendly way.  DO NOT be down on yourself or hard on yourself—that’d turn off Mr./Ms. Right, so don’t beat up on yourself, either, or you’re never going to have a happy relationship—with yourself or anyone else.

When you’re flirting with yourself in the mirror, or just alone in your room, or whatever, be sure that you’re adopting the proper body language, and that’s not just a smile that involves your eyes and not just your mouth.  It’s not just that cheesy silly wink or raised eyebrow.

Keep your stance open—don’t cross your arms or legs, no matter where you are or what exactly you’re doing.  That means you’re closed off to the whole process, and don’t think your brain doesn’t take cues from your physical behavior.

So don’t rig the game so you lose and you get to say, “I knew it wouldn’t work.”  NO DUH.  You weren’t willing to suspend your doubt and let go for a few minutes and even entertain the concept of being nice to yourself.

If you set up roadblocks to this process, of course it won’t work. Therefore, of course you’re not going to enjoy flirting with yourself, getting to know yourself better, and lightening up from the down-in-the-dumps mode you’ve been living in lately.

Give yourself a break.

More importantly, give yourself permission to flirt…with yourself, with others and even with life overall.

Scowling and bitching didn’t get you far, so mix it up and try something else.

Be ready for love—from yourself and from others—always.

Try the book, Daring Greatly:  How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead, by Brene Brown, Ph.D., LMSW, available on Amazon.

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