Dress for the Part You Want to Play in Life
The old saying is, “No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, show up and never give up.” You never do have a second chance to make a first impression.
Granted, if it’s self-love and self-respect that we’re discussing, where you’re wooing YOU and not some external soul, well…the first impression ship has sailed.
But the advice applies whether we’re discussing YOU dressing to improve your own overall sense of self-love and self-care, or whether you’re trying to make a great first impression on someone ELSE you’re interested in dating.
Research has shown that for men, clothes are more crucial to a great first impression being made; for women, it’s the body and face that matters most.
But what about when you’re trying to raise your sense of your own self-esteem? What matters then? How much do you stress the concept of makeup and dress?
The answer is, it depends on:
(1) unique little old you;
(2) the facts and circumstances that make up you; and
(3) your life as it currently stands. But when it comes to grooming and clothing your overall physical shell, you really can’t go wrong with respect to any of these three items.
You may lock up here and be concerned that this is all going to involve an hour at the gym daily, a shopping spree for new clothes you can’t afford tied into an unrealistic dress code, and all sorts of other foo-foo stuff.
Relax; not really.
But you DO need to go through some extra effort when you’re shooting for a healthier sense of self-esteem and/or self-image by wooing YOU first, so that you can be a more attractive person inside and out when going about wooing someone ELSE. If you want to be successful at anything, you’ve gotta dress the part.
Whenever you say the functional equivalent of, “People should accept me the way I am,” and proceed to roll out of the house without a stitch of makeup on and/or dressed from head to toe in lumpy sweats and beat up shoes or sneaks, please don’t be shocked when you get little to no respect or interest from anyone who comes into your sphere of influence.
Sure, you can decry society…or pop culture…or the media…and say that today’s social expectations demand you become an airbrushed Kardashian wannabe, but you’re off the mark.
No one (in their right mind) is expecting perfection or extreme high maintenance.
They just aren’t expecting a slob, either.
And neither is your subconscious mind, which is probably begging you to take better care of yourself.
But do you listen? Nope!
You drown it out and sell yourself on the bill of goods that you’re taking a stand against society when, in fact, you’re just passing the buck and checking out.
There’s a happy medium.
You don’t have to spend an hour putting on war paint when a “five-minute face” of makeup would suffice.
You also don’t have to dump a paycheck or two every month on new clothes, when wearing well-made, properly tailored basics in a neutral palette that’s spruced up with the occasional trendier accent mark will do.
Similarly, you don’t have to spend big bucks on said trendier accent mark if you can get a piece of jewelry, a scarf, a belt, etc. that’s not cheaply made whose price is nonetheless reasonably inexpensive. It may take a little time to score such a find, but many women enjoy the hunt.
Seriously, you’re selling yourself the need for a mountain of effort, when a molehill would do you and your self-esteem a world of good.
In fact, most men you encounter who are on the lookout for a serious relationship have no earthly clue what the latest fashion trend is; they just know to avoid the chick whose pants don’t fit right and whose shirt is too tight or too loose because it comes across as a sloppy mess and they’re looking for someone who has their act together.
Be willing to tweak what you have going on. In terms of clothes, if it’s stained, misshapen, pilled or shrunken, it’s time to give it the heave-ho. That might just clear out enough of your closet during the initial wave so that your second and third ones are more productive.
Be willing to tweak your beauty routine, too. Need skincare? Get it and use it. Fell out of the cycle of using it if you already have it? It doesn’t have to be New Year’s for you to make and act on a resolution to maintain healthy habits.
Furthermore, be willing to embrace the “five minute face” look or the “natural look” (read: pared down, simple) if you don’t want to go nuts with makeup. That’s cool. After awhile, though, something that you thought was going to be a big deal will become something that’s just part of your routine. It makes a difference.
Full-on warpaint isn’t for everyone. Respect.
But still…making an honest effort WILL make a difference where it matters the most…your self-esteem.
The fact that others will find you more attractive? Added bonus.
And the fact that you can use your newly upgraded self-esteem to better live out your WHY and achieve your S.M.A.A.R.T. goals? Priceless.
Stop putting up barriers to people noticing how wonderful you are; folks want to be with people who are willing to take care of themselves. It says they’re healthy, not sloppy or checked-out.
The message you’re pitching might be, “Accept me as I am,” but the message other people are receiving is, “Accept the fact that I can’t be bothered.”
Debbie Downer isn’t a sex symbol, last anyone checked. Be happy to polish your look up a bit; you DESERVE an upgrade! Believe you’re worth it and others will, too.
For more assistance overhauling your image, check out the book, How to Get Dressed: A Costume Designer’s Secrets for Making Your Clothes Look, Fit and Feel Amazing, by Alison Freer, available on Amazon.
