Goals…are they stressing you out?
Do you have a vision for your life, also known as your WHY, and have you tried to set goals only to watch yourself unravel them through self-sabotage? Do you want to know how to travel, step by step, to the top where the achievement of your goals and living in harmony with your WHY is located?
Then it’s time to understand the concept of self-sabotage itself and why it comes into play while working on one’s goals. Going forward, we’ll begin learning about how to deal with self-sabotage when it rears its ugly head…because it will. And all it takes is one trick to keep yourself on track.
As discussed in a previous post, your WHY gives you a fine-tuned overall vision for where you want your life to go. Having goals that you really want to achieve because they’re in line with your WHY and they’re smart (as in S-M-A-A-R-T) is a great second step to take when rebooting the operating system of your life.
But now you have to ask how believable your individual goals are, be they short-term or long-term.
Why is believability such an important benchmark? Because goals represent the individual steps one needs to take to change course in life and, ultimately, reach one’s WHY. If your goals (steps) are unbelievable on an individual basis, the odds of your engaging in self-sabotaging behavior increase drastically.
Now, S-M-A-A-R-T goals are great because you stretch and grow as you strive to reach them. That’s exactly what you need to do in order to change, reboot your life and reach your WHY. But if your immediate short-term goals are too far away from where you currently are in terms of their “believability,” you’ll end up losing heart, losing steam and engaging in self-sabotage.
Why does self-sabotage rear its ugly head? It’s because your subconscious mind is protecting you from experiencing any potential disappointment, difficulty or heartbreak.
It’s not so sinister, when you think about it—your brain tries to keep you from getting hurt by keeping you within your comfort zone. It’s like a mother trying to keep her toddler safe by keeping them within a controlled environment, where it’s easier to monitor him or her. But you’re an adult now and no longer need your brain “nannying” you via keeping you inside the playpen of your comfort zone…at all costs.
See, this is exactly what’s going on when you start undermining your own goals through behaviors ranging anywhere between procrastination and perfectionism. You know what I’m talking about: you get stuck in “analysis paralysis,” you overeat, you’re cranky, you’re foggy-brained or you just get stuck focusing on wishes instead of doing the actual work required to transform your dreams into reality by achieving your goals.
So the one trick you need is to make your immediate short-term goals realistic and believable. Sure, you want to set high goals so that you can stretch and grow. But set them too high, too fast, and they won’t be believable—and then you’ll self-sabotage your success even more.
Need more help with goal-setting? Try Write It Down, Make It Happen by Henriette Anne Klauser, available on Amazon.
