If you want to psyche out self-sabotage, look no further.
Good news: you can psyche out self-sabotage in 6 steps. Truth.
Self-sabotage can be any sort of behavior, ranging from procrastination to perfectionism. The trend toward self-sabotage will decrease if the S-M-A-A-R-T goals you’re pursuing in the name of your WHY—your reason for living—are believable goals, too. That’s a solid start.
Of course, if you’re a shy, passive person, doing anything outside of your comfort zone may not seem believable to you. How to psyche yourself up?
Now, while your WHY can be “unbelievable”, your short-term individual goals must be extremely believable even though they make you extremely uncomfortable. It’s a balance: you’ll progress towards your WHY (an existence out of your immediate reach but so spectacular it motivates you to stretch and grow) but moving toward it, one believable goal at a time, won’t poke proverbial the self-sabotage bear.
What you may need to do is change the dynamics of your success ladder, so that it ends up having more rungs on it leading to the achievement of your WHY than it may have originally had. Too few goals may mean too big of a jump for you to make each time, which leads to your subconscious mind screaming for a time-out. Then you slide into self-sabotaging behaviors to keep from leaving the perceived safety of your comfort zone.
So instead of pole-vaulting towards change and the overall achievement of your WHY in a few shots, set up a slew of baby steps instead. Just keep moving forward, persistently and consistently and you’ll reach the finish line.
Here’s some tips, tricks and life hacks that will go a long way towards psyching out your subconscious mind and its need to push you towards self-sabotage:
First, write down your goals or type them up. When they’re in black and white they’re more concrete and real.
Second, make sure they’re smart goals—as in S-M-A-A-R-T goals. Putting everything through that filter will help to flesh things out, making your goals practical and actionable.
Third, tweak your goals even after you’ve made them S-M-A-A-R-T, so each and every step of the way you’re doing things in alignment with your WHY. Never drift off or get too far off track at any point, because you won’t get long-term traction if you don’t truly want to take action. If something doesn’t resonate with who and what you really are it’s not in alignment with your WHY and that may lead to self-sabotage.
Fourth, organize all goals into 2 batches—long-term and short-term goals. (No “short-term goals” should last beyond 90-days). Put urgency behind short-term goals by keeping the timetable tight. Short-term goals can include anything you need to accomplish today…within 1 week…or within 1 to 3 months. That’s legit; otherwise you’re dealing with a long-term goal.
Fifth, long-term goals have to be in the mix; don’t try to boil everything down into a simplistic sea of short-term goals. Your WHY can’t be achieved within a mere day’s, week’s or month’s worth of efforts. I mean, if that’s true, good for you. For the rest of us, several short-term goals should bridge the gap between one long-term goal and the next. A few long-term goals marking major benchmarks of distance between you and your coveted WHY may be required, but they give your plan shape.
Finally, long-term goals should be set for the following timetables: 1 year, 5 year, 10 year and 20 year. At least one of each should be in the overall plan for your life. If you’re comfortable with the 30,000 foot view (your WHY and the long-term goals in play) then you’ll find that everything is believable and therefore achievable. Your WHY is worth staying the course, comfort zone be damned.
Still wrangling with self-sabotage? Try Get Out of Your Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior by Mark Goulston, M.D. and Philip Goldberg, available on Amazon.
